Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
