I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
