shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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