Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Randomize
