sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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