do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Enjoy the penises
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
