No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
