i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
