Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
