My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
