i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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