You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
