We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
