Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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