Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize