he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
