She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
