hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I fill condoms, not promises.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
