Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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