A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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