Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
