Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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