You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
