Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
