i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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