I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize