Whod you bang
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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