I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
