I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
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