Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
