therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
