someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
