At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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