ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
