what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
