So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
