i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I love you. Go after that dick
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
