I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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