the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
