Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
