Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize