I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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