I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
