He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
