Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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