I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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