i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
