he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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