Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
