Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
