Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
