But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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