I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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