I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
